3. I want to give my daughter all she needs before her little brother or sister arrives.
This ranges from attention to breastmilk. Though I know tandem nursing is fine, good on many accounts, and gets a lot of great publicity in the gentle parenting arena within which I dwell, I'm not sold. I've seen moms pulled to their wits ends by tandem nursing two co-sleeping night-nursers 13 or so months apart, and it's not got me convinced. And what happens with the colostrum? I'm not set against it, but I'm leaning towards nursing one at a time right now if my child-led weaning can accommodate that. From what I've read, spacing children a little further apart can help reduce sibling rivalry and child stress.
4. I gotta give a nod to the studies.
Some say that it is best for a toddler to be at least two years old before their younger sibling is born, that it makes them smarter and in some accounts, more secure. That certainly is how nature seems to have intended it (see #1 above). I buy it. I see my girl and can't imagine having another baby right now. She really needs me a lot, and I need her, too. Our bond is strong and though a new baby would be welcomed with love and joy, I would worry more for my first if another baby came right now. I'm happy that we've already made it to 19 months so that even if I did get pregnant now, she'd be over two years old before the birth.
5. I don't want to be an old mother.
Did I mention I'm tired? I love the idea of having three children. I'm about to turn 37 though. If it's another year until I birth the second, then three years until the third, I'll be 41 when my oldest arrives (barring any surprises after that, not that I'm too fixed on three or anything, but still...). This means I'll be 60 when my oldest is college-aged. 60. Needless to say, I don't really want to elongate my baby spacing any further than I need to whilst giving all these factors full consideration. I'm not hoping for twins, either, thank you kindly, sweetly, with sugar on top.